Still Alive

This blog has been really neglected lately. We are having a very busy school year with lots of adjustments and I just haven't had time to keep up two blogs. So, this one fell by the wayside and I continued to update Organized and Simplified, as it is a secondary source of income. Our lives are busy and full, and we continue to be blessed daily. In recent months, the biggest blessings we have received are the the fact that my dad's cancer markers are dropping, and Emorie's little brother or sister, who is set to arrive sometime around November 23, which is my dad's birthday.

Thanks for your continued prayers. God is good.

Adventures in winter weather...and power outages

We were supposed to go see my grandparents in southern West Virginia this past weekend. Plans were made and we were looking forward to it, as we haven't been to their house in far too long.

Upon checking out the forecast, we realized not only was it going to snow almost the whole time we were there, it was also going to be three...as in, three degrees. Brr!

We decided to err on the side of safety and not go. I have a teacher workday today and it wouldn't really matter that much if I got stuck, but Michael went back on call today. He couldn't get stuck. We were worried about road conditions, as well.

Saturday night, we had some really high winds. As in, the wind was howling as it whipped around the house. I went outside and turned over the rocking chairs so we wouldn't have to listen to them hit the porch railing all night. Trees were falling across roads all over the county, and one tree even took out our power line. Our power went out at 8:45 Saturday night and didn't come back on until 3:00 Sunday.

Armed with blankets, lots of clothes and several propane heaters, we survived. Ever worn a coat and a toboggan in the house? We have. We had to throw out a few groceries, but that's OK.

Today, the kids are out on a teacher workday. It was already planned. The snow is supposed to hit today around three. Candles, flashlight batteries, propane, a carbon monoxide detector, and a bag of ice have been purchased. Don't laugh- milk, bread and eggs have been purchased, too. You can bet this North Carolinian joined her fellow storm preppers in the bread aisle. Bet you can't find a loaf of bread anywhere in central NC right now.

If I'm AWOL the next few days, it's probably because I have no electricity. Take care and stay warm!

Book Review: "Fight Back with Joy" by Margaret Feinberg

A few weeks ago, I was reading some magazines published by Lifeway, when I ran across an ad for a book called Fight Back with Joy by Margaret Feinberg. I thought it looked interesting, but I was preoccupied with other things, so I didn't give it another thought. The next month, I was reading a newer issue of the same magazine and found not one, but two articles about the book. One of them was an interview with the author, and I found myself sucked in to her fun personality and her humor.

I went to a Christian bookstore and bought the book, along with Bringing Up Girls by James Dobson. I read the book in about four days, and read the majority of the book while in the waiting room at Wake Forest Baptist Medical Center, as my dad was having liver surgery. I love to read and always a appreciate a good book, but this was more than a good book. This one will change your life. I know plenty of people who will say a book change their lives, but I'm serious.

The author, Margaret Feinberg, wrote the book about her journey through breast cancer. She is very candid and honest as she talks about the effects of the chemo treatments on her body, her feelings while battling cancer, and her double mastectomy. Through it all, Feinberg held fast to her faith and her decision to practice a "defiant joy" in the face of her cancer.

In short, I needed to read this book. You all know about some of the things I have been dealing with this year and last year. I have also been dealing with depression as a result- this book reminded me of something I already knew deep down inside, but needed to be reminded of: "You have joy not in spite of your circumstances, but because of them. You are drenched in the grace and mercy of God."

The author isn't just funny and inspiring, she's really down-to-earth, too. I posted a picture of the book on my Instagram account with the hashtag "FightBackwithJoy," and Feinberg herself responded to my picture saying she couldn't wait to hear what I thought of it. I was impressed by this. I was more impressed when I posted a message on her Facebook page about how much I loved the book and got a response.

In other words, read Fight Back With Joy.  It's wonderful and it will change your life.

Week of joy

I didn't post a "joyful" post last week because we had so much going on. My dad had surgery to remove a cancerous tumor from his liver. He is at home now, but he is sore. My husband's grandfather passed away. I ended up missing a week of work and then having to play some pretty intense "catch-up." It's not that I didn't find any joy in the week, because I did, I just didn't have time to write about it.

When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I.

My dad learned a few weeks ago that his colon cancer had spread to his liver. The spot was small and in a hard to reach area of the liver. We met his surgeon at Wake Forest University Baptist Medical Center. He delivered the bad news that my dad is now considered stage four. Nothing will prepare you for how you'll feel when someone tells you your dad has stage four cancer. I honestly felt like someone had pulled a rug out from under me.

As stressed and overwhelmed as we feel at the moment, we have to look at the blessings. My dad was originally supposed to have his tumor removal in mid-February, but a cancelation enabled him to have that surgery today. Exactly one day after his consultation. By one of the top one hundred doctors in the nation. He's also a Christian man. Blessings.

My dad is resting well, although he is in pain. The doctors believe he may be home by Friday. He will likely have to have more chemo, specifically for preventing reoccurance.

So many people have called, emailed, texted or just simply prayed. Our wonderful pastor sat with us most of the day while my dad was in surgery. I read and was deeply encouraged by the book "Fight Back With Joy" by Margaret Feinberg as I sat in the waiting room. Blessings.

Please keep us in your prayers, especially my parents. Our journey isn't over yet.

Today, I will choose joy.

If you follow me on Instagram, then you may have seen my post this morning. I have noticed lately that I am becoming bitter and angry in the wake of all we have experienced in the past year. I don't want to be a person who is bitter or angry, so I decided to make a personal choice to look for the joy that is already present in my life, rather than focusing on loss and pain. Circumstances are often temporary, and I don't want a difficult season in my life to stop me from experiencing true joy.

2014: A Year in Review

I wrote a similar post to this one on my house blog, Organized and Simplified. You can find that post here.

What I am going to talk about here is less house, more personal. 2014 wasn't the greatest of years. In January, my dad was diagnosed for the second time with cancer. This time, a routine scan revealed he has stage three colon cancer. He went through chemo for the second time, and radiation for the first time. His port became infected and he was hospitalized. He is now awaiting more news to see if he may have to undergo more chemo. This summer, we finally got pregnant with our second child, but sadly, we lost the child two months into the pregnancy. We buried three of my relatives, and two of my husband's relatives were hospitalized. One is doing well, the other is still in the hospital as I write. To say it has been a trying year would be an understatement. In spite of all the storms, there are a few rays of sunshine we can be thankful for. It almost feels like a cop-out to write this, but it is something for which we are thankful. We are all alive and, for the most part, healthy. We have good jobs that provide well for us. We have a home we love and appreciate. My dad is still with us. We have a new nephew whom we love and look forward to spoiling.

Life isn't about waiting for the storms to pass- it's about learning to dance in the rain. -Unknown.

We've seen our share of rain, and although it has taken its toll, the Lord blessed me with a husband I can lean on and will be there when the waters get rough. And more importantly, through Bible study and daily devotions, I can feel Him working in my heart again. Is it well with my soul? Not completely. But I can definitely say I'm feeling more encouraged and more hopeful these days.

I thought instead of writing my typical "end of the year" narrative, I would share some pictures of my favorite things that happened this year. My nephew is certainly on the list, but I don't like to share pics of other people's kiddos without permission. These are also in no particular order.

1. Emorie and I took these pictures as a surprise Father's Day gift for Michael. She spilled the beans less than 24 hours later, but he did a good job acting surprised. And he loved them!

2. I ran three 5Ks and was signed up to run a half marathon, but had to cancel. I was bit by a dog, had to get stitches, and couldn't run the race with stitches in my leg. I will be running more races in 2015. 

3. Emorie brought home a gorgeous school picture- probably the best one ever. 

4. Fall was absolutely gorgeous here this year, 

5. I got a new sister-in-law when Michael's step-brother got married. This handsome man accompanied me to the wedding. 

6. The cutest little Elsa, ever. 

7. This. No description needed. 

8. The year of the selfie. I must have a hundred of these things. Geez. But I did have fun taking them. 

9. We went to the park for a fun afternoon and got caught in a torrential downpour. 

10. This pretty little girl makes every year special and wonderful, but our Mama School experiences this summer made some lasting memories. 

I'm not stupid enough to sit here and say "2014 was pretty awful and 2015 can't be much worse." It could be a lot worse. Instead I am going to say "2015 will be a better year," Why? Because I know who holds tomorrow. And tomorrow is, you guessed it, 2015.

"Better than a Hallelujah"

"We pour out our miseries
God just hears a melody
Beautiful, the mess we are
The honest cries of breaking hearts
Are better than a Hallelujah"
-Amy Grant 


I'm trying, folks. I really am. Prayers are needed and appreciated. Thanks. 

A laugh for you.

Source: Things children do that are unacceptable for adults to do by epoddle on Rumble


I can totally relate! My daughter is three and I have experienced all of these at some point. Enjoy the laughs.

Gettin' philosophical: dreams don't work unless you do.

"Dreams don't work unless you do."

A co-worker of mine has this displayed in her classroom. This is not only excellent advice, but it directly relates to my life. Many people in my family were taught while growing up that nothing good comes easily. If you wanted it, you had to work for it. And if it was worth getting, working hard wasn't a problem. Hard work was heavily valued, and so was determination. Both of those things go hand in hand.

Hard work played into my life majorly. I knew as a child I wanted to be a writer, but I had a persistent, almost nagging voice in the back of my mind trying to persuade me to be a teacher. I managed to convince myself not to listen, that I wanted no part of teaching. I never could completely silence the voice. After two and a half years as a journalist, I realized I truly wasn't happy and the only think that could make me happy was to teach.

So, I became a teacher assistant so I could catch a glimpse of what I might be getting myself into. I also enrolled in NC State University's Master of Arts in Teaching program. After working hard all day at the elementary school, I'd drive to Raleigh and work hard in class until 9:30 at night. My two and a half years of grad school were some of the most stressful, overwhelming years of my life. I worked hard. As a new wife, I often didn't see my husband until 10:00 at night. It was tough, but at graduation, I knew I'd done the right thing. My first week as a student teacher? I knew I'd made the right choice.

Ten years ago, if you had told me I would teach middle school English, I would have laughed at you. If you had told me ten years ago, I'd be married and be the mother of a little girl, I would have laughed at you. But, here I am. And I couldn't imagine my life any other way.

I've come a long way so far. First and foremost, the love of a patient God and his hand guiding me had everything to do with it, but some other things also had positive affects. Hard work had a lot to do with it. Determination had a lot to do with it.  A supportive family and supportive friends had a lot to do with it.

The entire purpose of this post was to expound on how far I have come and how grateful I am for having gotten this far. I am not bragging, I am simply reminding myself to be grateful for the journey.

It is my hope these same core values that are ingrained within me will also be ingrained in my own child's being. Dream big, but understand that unless you're willing to work for it, it isn't going to happen.

I don't always kill a buck, but when I do...

It's with the front end of my van. *sigh*

No one was hurt, and Bertha (our van) only has a damaged bumper and a busted radiator. Our van isn't as damaged as it could have been.

If you prayed for me today, thanks! Things certainly could have been worse.

A little something fun to start off your week!

Maybe they should change the quote "dance like no one is watching" to dance like you are three. Enjoy!





On another note, I have finally gotten around to writing and posting my fall house tour. You should really go check that out.

Coincidence? I think not.

It's funny how the Lord always gives us what we need when we're needing it the most.

If you are one of the few people who has made it known they are uncomfortable with my talking about my miscarriage, you should leave this post now and discontinue reading. I am not "whining," or "being dramatic" or "trying to get attention." I am currently going through something heartbreaking, and talking about it is the only thing getting me through. Keep your hurtful comments to yourself- if it bothers you, I am pretty sure there is a large "X" at the top of your browser. Now that I've gotten that out of the way, let me share what's on my heart today.

I've had a difficult time lately- each day, my spirit and body become more aware that my child is gone. On Christmas Eve, I would have been 20 weeks pregnant. Halfway there. Instead, I'll celebrate Christmas with my child and husband, and instead of looking forward to our new child, I'll be missing this one. I could sit here and expound on each and every "would be milestone" that is going to be difficult for me. Instead, I will talk about what the Lord gave me yesterday.

Yesterday, my devotion was about handling grief, and what to do when people close to you are grieving. The devotion talked about the Jewish tradition of the Shiva, in which they grieve for their loved ones for seven days. Any visitors to the home within those days does not speak unless one of the hosts speaks to them first. The families of the deceased simply sit there in quiet, comforted only by one another's presence. Words are not necessary.

The accompanying Scripture was from John, the story of Lazarus. I immediately read about the grief of Jesus for his friend, and how he wept for his friend.

Too often, when someone close to us loses someone, we try to almost take on the role of the Lord and explain what can't be explained. We don't know why death happens. We don't know why divorce happens. We don't know why miscarriage happens. Silence should be enough. We don't need to say anything because there isn't anything we can say. I've been guilty of this so many times- just wanting to say something because I didn't know what to say. A simple "I'm sorry," or "I'm praying for you" should have been it.

I've struggled lately to feel the Lord's presence. I know he is still here and he is hurting along with me. Some horrible part of me just wants to close off, shut down and just grieve. I'm trying hard to stay positive and to just trust Him, but this is hard. I should have thought about how Jesus raised Lazarus and how if he can raise Lazarus from the dead, he can get me through this. I'm ashamed to admit that I didn't think about that. He also makes the statement in this passage that through Lazarus' rest, God will be brought glory. I don't know what his plan for me is. I don't know why my baby was called home. I know somehow he'll be glorified through it. I know these things, even though it is hard for me to understand it at the moment.

Please keep praying. I need it more than I ever have.

November 8- weekend

Friday was a good day- it was the perfect end to a rotten week. We spent some time with my parents and my great-uncle and great-aunt, who are in town. We love visiting with family, especially when we don't get to see them often.

Saturday was a beautiful day. Miss Emorie wanted to go outside and play, so we bundled up and headed outdoors. We have been seriously neglecting our flower beds, so we took the time to clean them out while we were playing. We got two and a half beds cleaned out, and have one and a half to go. We will finish those on Tuesday. I also plan on cleaning out our container gardens and replacing them with some fall color.

Miss Emorie went to her grandmother's Saturday evening, so the hubs and I could have a date. We went to P.F. Chang's. We had a reservation, but due to problems in the kitchen, it took an hour for us to get our food. The manager ended up comping our meal. We had a delicious dinner that ended up only costing us $3. On the way back home, we picked up sweet girl and headed home.

On Sunday, I was running a fever and not feeling very well. I am almost feeling better now, and almost positive this is the result of some nasty virus. I am hoping the husband and sweet girl are spared the fever!

Weekend recap- November 2

What a busy but blessed weekend! We started off our weekend with a teacher workday for me, followed by Halloween festivities later on that evening with my sweet little Elsa. I know you've already seen the pics, but I just can't help but post this one again:


Saturday, Mr. B and I went to help his step-brother celebrate his wedding day. The wedding was gorgeous and we very much enjoyed being there to help celebrate. We didn't get to stay very long, since we had to go pick up our little lady from my Mom's, but we still had a great time. Here is a picture of my with my handsome man.



Of course, one doesn't celebrate a wedding without remembering their own wedding day. Almost 6 years have passed since I became Mrs. B.


When you get married, you promise to be there for each other "for better or for worse." We have had lots of "better," but unfortunately 2014 brought a whole lot of "worse." Truth be told, without the Lord, and without my man, I'd have never survived. We have faith that the best truly is yet to come, and everything we are currently enduring will truly change for the better.

Happy Halloween!

Emorie had a blast yesterday. After choosing four different Halloween costumes, she finally settled on Elsa from the movie "Frozen." I guess you can say we are a little obsessed with "Frozen" around here. I tried to talk her into being Anna since her dress is prettier, but Emorie wasn't having any of it. We saw several other Elsas when we went to the fire department, and several of my friends posted pictures of their own Elsas on my Facebook feed.

She wouldn't stop singing "Let It Go" long enough to get her picture taken. LOL. 

Waiting at the fire department. She was all for meeting Sparky and taking a picture of him until we got there. Then she was scared and wanted nothing to do with him. 

A little girl and her daddy. Love them so much. 

We didn't go trick-or-treating. We went to the fire department, the police department, and then to her grandparents' houses. She had a great time, ate more candy than she has probably had all year, and then refused to take off her costume when we got home. 

Just a few pictures this week.

We didn't really have an eventful week this week. Michael went to Myrtle Beach for the week for a fire conference, and Emorie and I held down the fort here at home. It was a busy week for both of us and we have been worn out.

My big girl is learning how to write her name. I only helped her with the lowercase E. 

A beautiful fall day involves playing outside :)

And look how big my girl is getting;

A family fun day with a little creativity thrown in

Forgive me, but I've been behind on my posts as we have had a difficult time lately. Life is slowly returning to normal, and I'm doing all I can to keep it normal.

This weekend, my husband was not on call. We asked Emorie what she wanted to do. She wanted to go to the Greensboro Children's Museum. When we arrived, we found out they were having a fall festival. The museum was serving cider in the Edible School yard, having puppet shows in the library across the street, presentations at the historical museum, and Art Quest was having fall crafts.

Our daughter is 3 and we weren't sure how much she'd like the historical society, so we played at the museum, went to the puppet show, and then went over to Art Quest.

Art Quest was so cool. I never knew it existed before. At Art Quest, which was free, by the way, kids create different art projects and learn while they are creating. Emorie made a rag doll out of paper, fabric and yarn, and then she made art prints using leaves, fruit, flowers and paint. It was a lot of fun for her and we enjoyed it, too. 

It was a fun weekend and I am glad we let Emorie choose the activity! 

Be still and know...

For the past four days, this verse has been my constant. I actually read this verse the morning of September 2, 2014, when I found out Emorie was going to be a big sister. We had two ultrasounds, the first one showing me being two weeks off. Two weeks later, we had another ultrasound. The baby measured only one week larger, but the heart was beating. I felt hopeful.

Then, I began experiencing complications. On about Wednesday of last week, I could no longer deny something was wrong. I went in for an emergency ultrasound on Friday, only to discover the baby had not grown and the heartbeat was slowing. My heart sank. I began calling family members and friends. I posted a message to our friends and family on Facebook: "It's hard to say goodbye when you never got to say hello. Please pray for us during this difficult time."

On Saturday, the contractions began and I truly knew it was over. My body is still aching, but the pain is slowing. My heart is still aching, but I am beginning to feel a little bit better. While at this point I am unsure what will happen next, and whether or not we will attempt to have more children, I am sure of this. I am definitely not alone.

To the lady who saw me crying in the waiting room and asked if she could pray for me, thank you. To the ultrasound nurse who held me and let me cry, thank you. To the doctor who sat with me and told me not to apologize for my tears, thank you.  So many of my family members, co-workers, and church family members have sent messages, cards, and have called, and for that I thank you. My coworkers gave me a card and a gift card. My teammates prepared my classroom for testing so I wouldn't have to do it when I returned to school.

I never realized before how many of my friends and family members have experienced this before. I miscarried Emorie's twin, but chose to instead dwell on having one healthy baby remaining. I really didn't feel the loss until after Emorie was a year old. This time though, it's completely different.

I don't write this entry to seek attention. I don't write it to be graphic or to share too much with others. I write it because miscarriage is something people don't typically talk about. Talking about it is the only thing helping me right now. Maybe someone someday will be in the same place, will find this entry and it will help them. Maybe when things are better, I'll read this again and realize how far the Lord has brought me.

I have read numerous blog entries from other mothers who have experienced loss. I've spent time talking to my family members, church family members, and friends who have experienced miscarriages. I am hurting but not alone. Keep us in your prayers. Our hearts are broken but we will be OK.

And God is still God.

Shopping guide: Growin' up in God's Word

My family is Christian. I grew up in church and so did my husband. So, you can imagine it's important to us that our daughter be raised in church as well.  Unfortunately, our church attendance as of late has not been as good as it should be. We are working to get back on track.

I have been faithfully reading devotions, reading my Bible and been more actively praying daily since June. I am not bragging about this, just stating it here to keep me accountable. A lot of things have happened in my life this year, and most of those things were a huge wake-up call for me. A lot of bad things happened this year, but some good things happened, too.

I'll talk more about the good and bad later, but I want to use this time to blog about some books we purchased for our daughter. My little girl is 3. Some of the books and materials we have purchased for her are a bit mature for her at the moment, but will be perfect in a few short years.

She has a toddler Bible. It is a board book, and she loves the pictures and Bible stories within it. She carries this Bible to church with her.  It's actually recommended for ages 2-4 and I purchased it for about $10 from Wal-Mart. It's perfect for her now, but when she turns four next summer, I'd like to get her one that's a little more mature. I haven't done much shopping around yet, so I'm not sure what we might get.

A few years ago, my librarian uncle gave Emorie a Books-A-Million gift card for Christmas. My kiddo is not short on books, for which I am grateful! We went together so she could choose something. We got some age-appropriate story books, and we also picked up this one-year children's Bible story book. It's a little too mature for her, but I've found if you explain the story to her, she understands it. Also, if we read a story she is already familiar with, she understands it just fine. 

Right now, you can buy this for less than $10 on Amazon. 

We have a book sale that comes to our school about every other month. They usually have some really nice things for low prices. I've often bought Christmas gifts from them. This past February, I found a copy of The Love Dare One-Year Devotional for Couples, which I quickly bought for me and the hubs to peruse. I was pleasantly surprised to discover the children's one-year devotional book, Jesus Calling.  I realize this is a bit too mature for my girl now, but in a few years, it will be perfect. Currently, you can get the book for $10.30 on Amazon. I think I paid $12 for it. I am so excited about reading this with her someday soon. 

Do any of you have some recommendations for Bible story books and kids' Bibles? I'd love to hear about them.