I'm going to step outside of my comfort zone just a bit today, and I am going to use my personal blog as a vehicle to do so. I don't talk about or share my faith with others as much as I should. I am certainly not ashamed of my faith; It's just that doing so isn't always comfortable. This is something I am working on.
There are other things I am working on, too. I have, in recent months, lost my focus. I haven't been attending church like I should, and I haven't been praying and reading the Bible as I should. This is something I am trying to change. I am not a transparent person and it is very hard for me to share personal details about my life.
Some of you are laughing right now, because you are thinking about the fact that I publish two blogs, have a Facebook account and an Instagram account. I'll agree, based on those details, it sounds like my life is an open book. It isn't- it is easy to share anecdotes about your kids, or talk about your cleaning/decorating/organizing habits and never share a thing about what goes on inside your head.
Being transparent is surprisingly hard for me. I hope this post will not offend anyone- that isn't my intention. My intention is to talk to you a little about my faith and to share a bit about what's going on in my life at the moment. Although I was saved by Grace nearly ten years ago, I still consider myself to be very new in my faith. I'm not perfect, but I serve a perfect God.
2014 has not been an easy year. My Daddy was diagnosed with cancer for the second time in January. He went in for a routine scan, had a major surgery and was diagnosed with colon cancer. He has since completed radiation treatments and is nearly finished (we hope so, anyway) with his chemo treatments. As you can imagine, this has been difficult for our family.
I am also facing a struggle personally. I am not ready to share this one with everyone yet, but I will when I feel the time is right. Please don't worry about me- my health is good and it is nothing serious. It is something that will require a lot of trust and a lot of patience. Please pray for me to have the patience and faith to trust God and his timing.
I was driving to church on Sunday morning and was busy worrying about several things. I was also listening to one of my favorite songs, "10,000 Reasons" by Matt Redmond. When I'm in my car by myself, I really get into whatever I'm listening to, and I just have a blast. As I'm singing this song and worrying, a thought occurred to me: what if I put as much energy into my relationship with the Lord as I put into worrying?
What a thought. The old hymn says to trust and obey. We know, as Christians that God does not forsake us EVER. We know from past experiences in our lives that God takes care of us and He answers our prayers. Why are we still so quick to worry and stress than to simply trust him? We know prayer works. We know God has plans for us.
I am not perfect, but God is. I am trying hard to remember that He knows my needs and struggles. I am trying hard to remember that my prayers will be answered, even if the answer is "not now." I'm also trying to remember that God has a plan, even if "not now" is his answer.
I honestly didn't mean to pour my heart out on the Blogosphere today, but I did. When you say your prayers tonight, please include me. Pray that I'll simply stop worrying and struggling and just trust God and his timing.
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