Monday, October 20, 2014

Just a few pictures this week.

We didn't really have an eventful week this week. Michael went to Myrtle Beach for the week for a fire conference, and Emorie and I held down the fort here at home. It was a busy week for both of us and we have been worn out.

My big girl is learning how to write her name. I only helped her with the lowercase E. 

A beautiful fall day involves playing outside :)

And look how big my girl is getting;


Monday, October 13, 2014

A family fun day with a little creativity thrown in

Forgive me, but I've been behind on my posts as we have had a difficult time lately. Life is slowly returning to normal, and I'm doing all I can to keep it normal.

This weekend, my husband was not on call. We asked Emorie what she wanted to do. She wanted to go to the Greensboro Children's Museum. When we arrived, we found out they were having a fall festival. The museum was serving cider in the Edible School yard, having puppet shows in the library across the street, presentations at the historical museum, and Art Quest was having fall crafts.



Our daughter is 3 and we weren't sure how much she'd like the historical society, so we played at the museum, went to the puppet show, and then went over to Art Quest.

Art Quest was so cool. I never knew it existed before. At Art Quest, which was free, by the way, kids create different art projects and learn while they are creating. Emorie made a rag doll out of paper, fabric and yarn, and then she made art prints using leaves, fruit, flowers and paint. It was a lot of fun for her and we enjoyed it, too. 



It was a fun weekend and I am glad we let Emorie choose the activity! 

Monday, October 6, 2014

Be still and know...



For the past four days, this verse has been my constant. I actually read this verse the morning of September 2, 2014, when I found out Emorie was going to be a big sister. We had two ultrasounds, the first one showing me being two weeks off. Two weeks later, we had another ultrasound. The baby measured only one week larger, but the heart was beating. I felt hopeful.

Then, I began experiencing complications. On about Wednesday of last week, I could no longer deny something was wrong. I went in for an emergency ultrasound on Friday, only to discover the baby had not grown and the heartbeat was slowing. My heart sank. I began calling family members and friends. I posted a message to our friends and family on Facebook: "It's hard to say goodbye when you never got to say hello. Please pray for us during this difficult time."

On Saturday, the contractions began and I truly knew it was over. My body is still aching, but the pain is slowing. My heart is still aching, but I am beginning to feel a little bit better. While at this point I am unsure what will happen next, and whether or not we will attempt to have more children, I am sure of this. I am definitely not alone.

To the lady who saw me crying in the waiting room and asked if she could pray for me, thank you. To the ultrasound nurse who held me and let me cry, thank you. To the doctor who sat with me and told me not to apologize for my tears, thank you.  So many of my family members, co-workers, and church family members have sent messages, cards, and have called, and for that I thank you. My coworkers gave me a card and a gift card. My teammates prepared my classroom for testing so I wouldn't have to do it when I returned to school.

I never realized before how many of my friends and family members have experienced this before. I miscarried Emorie's twin, but chose to instead dwell on having one healthy baby remaining. I really didn't feel the loss until after Emorie was a year old. This time though, it's completely different.

I don't write this entry to seek attention. I don't write it to be graphic or to share too much with others. I write it because miscarriage is something people don't typically talk about. Talking about it is the only thing helping me right now. Maybe someone someday will be in the same place, will find this entry and it will help them. Maybe when things are better, I'll read this again and realize how far the Lord has brought me.

I have read numerous blog entries from other mothers who have experienced loss. I've spent time talking to my family members, church family members, and friends who have experienced miscarriages. I am hurting but not alone. Keep us in your prayers. Our hearts are broken but we will be OK.

And God is still God.